An occasional look at matters petanque.
No 1
There
is no such thing as a bad piste……….!!!
The
sport of petanque has traditionally been played on any old bit of ground that is
deemed to be suitable.
But what is suitable I hear you ask?
I’ve played on tracks that vary from billiard table smoothness to crampon-wearing cliff sides to moon-cratered rockeries to quagmired battlefields, and all have offered, by varying degree, an interesting and challenging….er.. challenge!
As
Mike from the Yew Tree remarked
‘There are no rules that state what the composition of a piste should
be’
and he’s right of course although basic guidelines are given (by the
EPA among others) on how to construct a
piste.
(Apparently several inches of one to one-and-a half inch hardcore covered
by a couple of inches of
5mm to dust topping).
So
obviously, the ability to adapt to various and differing tracks is all part of
the game and in my humble opinion is integral to the sport,
thus, any negative criticism of an opponents track is way out of order.
Having said that, negative criticism is one thing, humorous remarks, opinions and observations of a piste can be and usually are expressed. Indeed, a recent remark about the piste at the Seven Stars Stadium was that “It’s like playing on an old goats track…!!!” Whether they were referring to me as ‘the old goat’ – I’ll never know.
Anyway,
I’ve taken the liberty of offering
my observations concerning the piste’s around the Marches.
Any remarks you may have would be welcome, and if printable, will
possible add.
First
off……
The
New Inn.
Two piste’s – six lanes.
The main area nearest the pub is the primary piste. Three lanes with a
decent covering of gravel at various thickness throughout.
Long tracks with some shallow-ish undulations that make this piste a
pleasure to play on. We
of the Stars like this piste because it was there that we won our only piece of
‘major’ silverware – Winter League 2007/8.
The far-end area is different altogether. Not so much topping and slopes
slightly
from end to end. OK to play on though.
Brecon
RFC
Four piste’s – sixteen lanes.
The area usually used is quite hard with just a thin covering of old
Dorset Pea.
Pretty straight and true-ish with some slight undulations. The wide-ish
lanes do not seem to take much reading but backspin is required.
Surprisingly, can favour the tosser!
Three piste’s – six lanes.
Main course is very long with two nice wide tracks.
When first constructed, it was of indoor bowls standard and flatter than
a squashed hedgehog during the rush-hour.
If you had mastered lobbing, you could get something from it but it
really favoured the grub hunters. Recently added was a goodly covering of gravel
that seems to have resulted in better quality and thus tighter matches.
Of
the other two piste’s – they are of narrower lanes and soft-ish surfaces. If
designated playing area, take your hedge-clippers with you.
The
Bell, Tillington.
One piste – two lanes.
From the scoreboard end, the left hand track is quite ordinary and
nothing to write home about – BUT…..!!!
the right hand piste…. IT IS
BRILLIANT!!!!
At the pub end, it slopes alarmingly to a degree similar to that of the north face of the Eiger. This is where you need your crampons (No, no Shirley, I said crampons) because it’s the slopiest slope in all of Christendom.
Hugely
challenging, one has to gauge to a fraction the angle, height and direction of
the throw and for what can appear to be the perfect ball for a split second can
easily end up as the ball that finally comes to rest in the main lounge of the
pub.
Please, please, please Tilly Tigers - Never
ever alter the wonderful characteristics of this superb piste!
The
Swan
Six piste’s – Ten thousand lanes.
The upper piste is unstrung and therefore a hard-hat area if two games
are taking place at the same time. Toss at your peril!
Its
a softish track but not unpleasant to play on.
At right-angles is the second piste which is wider, still unstrung but
less of a hazard.
Very hard with a light covering of gravel – definitely a grub-hunters
track which is the same for all the other piste’s of which there are many - at
least these are strung.
The
venue generally is quite pleasing and well laid out.
Its used for rally’s
etc. and of course the Hereford Open. (Wont be going myself this year as
it clashes with a sea-angling trip).
The
Angel, Grosmont
One piste – 2 lanes.
Sloping long lanes but very very narrow.
Soft to medium going with some interesting and subtle undulations -
its a piste that has to be read carefully especially playing downhill. Again,
bring your hedge-clippers as there’s plenty of foliage about.
Neil once bet me a pint he could beat me – and he did…. easily, (no surprise
there I hear you say) so why should I say anything good about his rotten ole
track!
Hereford
Leisure Centre.
One piste – Two lanes.
Oh dear!
What was an ordinary flat-ish piste with the odd oversize stone to make
things interesting has alas been covered with large boulders the size of
medicine balls.
Not seen the area myself but have been informed that it could be more
down to luck than skill to succeed there. Now that should suit me down to the
stony ground!
Still, as my old granny once said:
“A piste is a piste and don’t
forget to wear clean underwear in case you get run over.”
Cross
Angels, Mortimers Cross.
Have not played at this venue so therefore unable to assess. They will no doubt
be pleased about that.
It has been rumoured that a return to the original venue at Mortimers
Cross is on the cards. Will proffer more info whenst canst.
Nags
Head.
Again, cannot comment as its been many years since visited.
I do remember there was a pond nearby where disgruntled players were able
to hurl their boules in it and say “B*****ks
to Boules!”
The
Bridge at Kentchurch.
One piste – Three lanes. People have been lost here.
Its rumoured that Long Johns buried treasure is also here somewhere.
The softest and deepest track since the Somme – you either like it or
you don’t and its definitely a tossers piste. Grub hunters will fail miserably
and shooters have to play strictly ball to ball.
Years
ago, during a great flood, the original piste was washed away down the river and
ended up as a shipping hazard in the English Channel.
But did Tony and the team become disheartened? – emphatically not!
They merely ordered and laid another twenty thousand tons of gravel and
carried on as though nothing had happened.
The
Yew Tree
One piste – Three lanes (although only two used).
In complete contrast to the Bridge, the Yews have the hardest and baldest
surface in the league ……nay, in the world.
We did actually spot three pieces of gravel on the middle lane when last
we played there. To ‘draw’ the circle, a hammer and chisel is required
although a pneumatic drill would be more useful. If tossing, some
extra backspin is required but grub hunters dominate.
Word of warning!
Never ever pass comment about the piste - the
Yew Tree players are extremely sensitive to this as I recently found out to my
cost.
The
Strand.
One piste – Two lanes.
Smooth and flat with an interesting touch of unpredictability. Gently
sloping with some undulations (the piste, not me!) it
can take some getting used to.
Best to experiment with ball delivery to obtain the best from this track.
Tossing, grub-hunting or pitching….. its your choice.
The
Bells, Almeley.
One piste - Two Lanes. Flat pitch with goodly depth of gravel.
Should be ideal for tossers and lobbers but surprisingly 'aint - even with
backspin. Only ever played this piste in the wet so may well behave
differently when dry. Rolling doesn't work so we are left with shoulder
height pitches. That said, its a good challenging track.
The
Bullring, Kingstone.
Bully Boys new arena is in the process of being constructed. Its gravel
over tarmac on one piste with possibly 3 lanes.
Can’t wait!!!
Two Piste’s 12 lanes.
Bottom piste rarely used. Top piste, nearest to the pub – obviously –
is the main area of play.
Described as ‘the finest track ever’ and, quote: “I wouldn’t let my dog s**t
on it!” are
just two of the many mutterings heard.
Head groundsman Blair always prepares a smooth and predictable track, but as
matches progress and divots etc. appear, the piste becomes a little more
unpredictable. Can truthfully say that the lanes will take any style of boule
delivery which makes it an ideal area for all petankers. Firm-ish base with
thick-ish gravel at track ends but thin-ish in the middle (like I used to
be….?).
Conclusions.
There’s a rich assortment of piste’s throughout the league which is no bad
thing. Bear in mind that differing weather conditions can have extreme effects
on the characteristics of tracks and therefore the above descriptions may not
always apply.
This then is my take on petanque stadia around the Marches, Its not to be taken too seriously and as my old granny once said to me: “Everybody’s entitled to their opinions no matter how daft they are.”
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